The Dancing Grapevine
The Truth About Strong Leads
by Laura Riva
You may hear us follows from time to time admire our favourite leaders. We may call them strong leads, but when we say ‘strong’, it may mean something different.
When we say ‘strong’, we don’t mean muscles. What we mean is security: how it is that you hold us. Our bodies are strong, but they are also fragile: one wrong move can put us out for good. It is a risk we take because we love dancing. We don’t care whether you can bench-press 200 kg, or whether you can barely do a push-up. We don’t want to fear your dance, we want to feel safe and secure within it.
Please don’t think that you must be a bodybuilder to be secure. You can be a tiny woman who embodies this type of strength, or you can be a mammoth of a man that gives us the security of tissue paper. Aim to hold us with the security you would hold a young child. That is the security we need.
When we say ‘strong’, we don’t mean using power. We mean clarity. The best communicators can say what they need in a whisper, but still be perfectly understood. The worst can yell at the top of their lungs, and we never catch a word. We have no desire to wrestle with you; we simply desire to understand what you want. Aim for efficiency over volume: determine exactly what it is we need, and get rid of anything extra. That is the clarity we need.
When we say ‘strong, we don’t mean forceful. We mean sensitive. We do not want to be hauled around the dance floor, stressing because we cannot keep up with your movements. We want someone who can feel when we are behind, when we need more time, or when we don’t understand. We want someone who is sensitive enough to slow down on their own journey to take us with them. Understand our bodies, for they are the instrument we use to connect with you. That is the sensitivity we need.
When we say ‘strong’, we don’t want your physical strength. We want you to connect strongly with us. Feel us. Be present with us. Hold us and keep us safe. Then, we will create magic with you. We will give you ourselves with no reservations, because we are safe.
Be the right kind of strong, and we will give you the best of us – with nothing held back.
Visit http://grapevine.dzouk.com/ for this and other articles by Laura Riva
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